Weird OAP Warez geezaaaar
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As part of my therapy i have to visit public places and try to engage in random conversations.
Well a few weeks ago I went to a nearby pub, and I took my iBook, at first I plonked the bag on a solitary table and went to grab some ale. On returning some old guy had appeared at the adjacent table and mumbled to me that he was concerned because there was a bag left on its own and he thought it might be a bomb, hoping he was joking I just went “oh, haha yeah.” So I sat down and fudged around with the iBook, trying to connect to the cloud network that was supposed to be available at the establishment. Then the old guy started mumbling at me again, not only did he mumble incoherently but he also liked to randomly insert “fuck”, which I find quite offensive when from ppl I’m not acquainted with, (make a note of that.) So he clocked the laptop and started sounding off, educating me about W3C web standards. Turned out he was some retired teacher or lecturer in the area of I.T. ‘Cept his brain had obviously gone to pot.
He went all weird on me and said he was gonna do a big favour, despite the fact that my contribution to his life have been zero and that I was trying to ignore him because he smelt rotten. He continued being vague about this pearl of wisdom or whatever it was he was going to bestow upon me. He then brought out of a pocket a flash drive and gave it to me, whilst shuffling around nervously, mumbling some more about how the contents of this thing was going to help me on my journey of self-fulfilment. He continued this for some time, telling me his name was “Toe-Knee”, which I know because he pointed to his toes, and then his knee.
Finally, he departed the pub so I stuck the flash drive in the iBook to have a butches and it was full of warez. It wasn’t even good warez, it had Photoshop 7 and some old version of office and some crappy anti-virus apps. What struck me though however was that it was all Windows stuff. despite the fact that I had been sitting there with a Mac. I was supposed to return this to him once I had gleened all I need from it, despite not knowing who he was or where he lived. I just left it on the table and left he pub.
And you see, this is why I don’t like “people”. The general public if you will. Because, even though this guy was harmlessly dumb and senile, I was shaking throughout the encounter.
The service is called 

I haven’t used my boot camp install of windows for months so I decided to let OS X reclaim the space.
Bullet points shall convey my thoughts…