Christmas day shinanigans

So I neively ride on into Christmas town casting aside all doubts that it will be my usual sucky accident laiden yule-tide hell. It started off so well, we went to my brothers who put on a great spread, his first time preparing a christmas dinner and it’s always entertaining watching my brother stressing in the kitchen whilst I generally get in the way. We spent most of the day drinking far too much, being merry whilst making fun of Eddie, who was SO well behaved! He surprised us all, such a good doggy Well mostly, first mistake of the day was leaving the turkey on the table when we left the dining room. Some time later Eddie sneaked off, we looked everywhere and found him under the dinning table with a huge chunk of the turkey, with bone, growling at us to keep away. He must have reached onto the table and bit it straight off so my brother was pissed swearing that in no way is he going to save the rest of the turkey now. Haha. Eddie takes the funniest photo’s, how mad does he look there! I don’t know how on earth the camera made his hair all stick up like that, and since when did Eddie have a big brown beard??? Sure, its getting a bit dirty looking from his saliva stains, but seriously, it looks no way near that brown in real life. Stupid camera.

I have various allergies, some worse than others, some just make me feel a teensy bit yucky in the gut and make me a teensy bit itchy during the night. One of these is Egg, apparently it was egg that first brought out my eczema when I was 3 or thereabous. When older though egg pretty much stopped having any discernible effect so I did start eating it now and then. Except, for the past year I’ve been making a more determined attempt to get on-top of the whole eczema thing once and for all, and this included strictly cutting out everything from my diet that has some effect on my skin, whether large or small. So i have had no significant amounts of egg at all for over a year. Until Christmas day. You see that’s the thing about christmas, you tend to throw all the rules out the window, you know, it’s only once a year and all that. As a late evening treat my brothers wife had made a gloriously naughty chocolate desserts, I cannot stress enough how yummy it was, it had green’n'blacks cocoa in it and all sorts of lovely stuff. Unfortunately it also had about a million egg’s in it, raw too. I guess living a year apart from the stuff has made my body even less tolerant because half way through eating this thing I suddenly felt like my head was about to explode, it throbbed and I was dizzy. Then my throat swelled up and it hurt to swallow, this used to happen a lot when I was a kid eating everything i shouldn’t and I had forgotten quite how horribly uncomfortable it is. Then the egg hit my stomach and I spent the rest of the evening feeling as though I was carrying a bowling ball around in there. The fun hadn’t even started yet. Eddie was spending his first night ever in a strange house, and after we had all gone to bed Eddie started crying like he’s never cried before from the kitchen (where he had been tucked into bed). Normally you should leave a dog be when they cry but as it was waking everyone up, and we weren’t at home I got up and went to his aid. There wasn’t really any consoling him, he really was upset so I brought his bed upstairs to my room. So that was reason 1 for getting no sleep. The 2nd reason hit me soon after trying to get back to sleep, when the Eggy nasties exploded in my stomach and I hurtled off to the toilet to immediately puke my guts out. There’s nothing worse than being sick in somebody elses house, it’s all so awkward. It wouldn’t be so bad if it was just the one puking session either, but as soon as I went back to bed I was straight back to the toilet. Several times, and it tasted so gross, Eggy sick has got to be the worst, most badly tasting sick of them all.

The worst thing of all happened back at home on boxing day. I was coming down the stairway, when suddenly a foot slipped. Stair mis-adventures have happened several times to me in recent times and I put it down the fact that no sock has ever been developed that properly fits my feet. My feet are feminine affairs of tiny tiny proportions. Sized 6, if you’re British, dunno what that is anywhere else. Men’s socks are not made for size 6 feet, they basically do them specified to ranges, such as 6-8 which in reality are so far off size 6 its untrue. So when I’m walking around the house my feet are sliding around inside the socks, and it makes it far too easy to slip on the stairs. The bad part was that this happened with my ibook under-arm, and it went air-born, what happened next was a blur, but I do remember screaming “OH GOD!” as I helplessly watched it crash to ground. When I reached its aid I found it when the lid popped open, so it was obvious some damage had been done. And sure enough, the screen has separated a bit, at the base near the hinge. You will probably have to click on the photo and study it full size to notice it. It also closes a bit skewed, and sounds off when you release the screen, iBook screens sort of bounce open when you press the release button and it used to open with a satisfying clunk. It could be worse, there doesn’t seem to be any other damage, it still works and I’ve given the brains of it a clean bill of health by booting into the “Apple Hardware Test” from the mac os x DVD, and also run the disk utility repair to check the filesystem. This was also fine. Also, conveniently the apple store opened recently so hopefully I’ll be able to drop it in there some time. So it could have been a lot worse, but it’s still majorly depressing. I haven’t had the damn thing for long.

I’m not doing Christmas next year.

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